Guilt- If Motherhood is under attack and the enemies have an armory of weapons, I think Guilt would be their version of the atomic bomb! The effect is widespread. It takes over quickly, and it is devastating. I think most women would admit what that they struggle with feelings of guilt on a regular basis. But the part that concerns me the most is that most women accept this as a normal part of life. In the last few years, I really have met and talked with thousands of women. In listening to them I have heard some really interesting things. I would like to share a few with you and see if any of them sound familiar.
“Sometimes I feel guilty because I don’t have enough time with each of my kids.”
“I feel guilty because I am just at home with my kids and I’m not bringing in income to help my family.”
“I feel so guilty becaue I have to work to pay the bills and I am missing so much with my family.”
“I know I need more time for me, but I always feel guilty when I take it.”
“I feel guilty because I don’t feel bad about working. I like my job and I like having time away from my family to do my own thing.”
“I felt so guilty today because I had 20 things on my to do list and I only got done 15”
The list could go on forever. Guilt is a real emotion that God uses to help us. None of us are perfect and each of us makes mistakes. I have made many mistakes and will probably make tons more. When we take a wrong turn or make a wrong choice, our Higher Power uses guilt to let us know that we need to make a change. He loves us and doesn’t want us to continue in a direction that won’t bring us happiness. The guilt is a warning to stop, turn back and find the correct path. I use guilt with my children as well. When they are doing something wrong or dangerous, I let them know they have made a bad choice. I correct their behavior. That emotion of guilt helps them to remember not to make the same mistakes over and over again. But as a mother, would you want your children to feel guilty all of the time? Yesterday, my sons left on the hose and flooded the back yard. I talked to them about it. I didn’t yell, but I used my serious voice. They know they are not allowed to turn on the hose without permission. I reminded them of the rules they broke. I told them I was not happy about what they had done. They felt bad and apologized. Today, I did NOT wake them up by telling them they were bad kids because they left the hose on yesterday. I did NOT constantly remind them of their mistakes and misdeeds. God does NOT want us to live in a state of guilt. Opposition is so smart and the reason it uses guilt so effectively is that it has taken a universal teaching tool and twisted it. When we are working to care for and provide for our families, the Adversary sends us guilt and tells us we will never be able to do it well enough. When we are searching for closeness with our higher power, opposition makes us feel like because as humans we make frequent mistakes, we will never be able to achieve that closeness with God. When we are doing our absolute best and should be feeling peace and joy, Satan twists the emotion and sends us guilt. No one wants to feel guilty all the time, so we will start to shrink back. We even tell ourselves that we just can’t do that much and we pull in our sphere of influence and make it smaller.
I would like you to think for a moment about a time you caught one of your children doing something they weren’t supposed to do. Just the other day, I caught one of my sons eating spoonfuls of sugar strait out of the sugar bin in the pantry. The minute I said his name, and he knew he had been caught; his natural physical reaction was to shrink and hide. His shoulders slumped, he looked down, and he took a step back from me. Now translate that into your life. If you are living with frequent feelings of guilt, then The Adversary is succeeding in keeping you from reaching your true potential. If you are feeling frequent guilt, you cannot be as connected in your relationships as you want to be. There is always a part of you that is hiding. You will begin to hide and protect the best parts of yourself so that they won’t get hurt by the overwhelming guilt. Your gifts and talents cannot truly shine. You may even start to hear little voices telling you that your children blame you for their problems. You may start to hear little voice telling you that your family doesn’t love you. Your Father in Heaven loves you and would NEVER send you this type of guilt. Later in the CD, I will share some Tools that you can use to win the fight! But the most important thing is to recognize that frequent guilt is not a normal part of life. It is dangerous and detrimental to ourselves and our families and we MUST get rid of it!
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